Prenatal Relationship Counselling
Having a baby up-ends your world.
Whether you’re in a partnership, a marriage, single parenting, adopting, or having a baby through surrogacy, your new identity as “Parent” changes your life forever.
New parents are often startled by how much they love this precious little person. They are also overwhelmed by the enormity of responsibility for their new baby’s (or babies’ if there are twins or triplets) wellbeing.
While the arrival of a new baby brings great joy and excitement, it also turns the parents’ world upside down. Life will never be the same. The joy and excitement parents feel are often accompanied by exhaustion, sleeplessness, insecurity, physical discomfort for the birth mother, helplessness, resentment, interpersonal conflicts, anxiety and sometimes light to severe postpartum depression. Sometimes it triggers spousal abuse
New parenthood is very difficult. While many parents attend prenatal classes to prepare for the actual birth, there is little education about the realities of life with a baby and its impact on relationships. Research shows that 20% of marriages end within a year after the birth of a baby.Prenatal relationship counselling is designed to give expectant parents an understanding of postpartum life, and the realities of being a parent. It will address the real needs of babies, the emotional and physical needs of parents, and the impact of the parents’ own childhoods on how they respond to the baby’s needs and this major life change. Expectant parents will be given tools to maneuver through this new chapter in their lives.
Many expectant parents attend prenatal classes to prepare for the baby’s birth. Prenatal relationship counselling prepares you for life after the baby arrives. I will provide you with insights and tools to successfully navigate this wonderful, difficult time.
Counselling for New Parents
This is not a parenting site.
This is a place for parents to focus on themselves, to get support for themselves as people, to remember who they were, and discover who they are now that they are parents.
Once a baby comes into your life, everything changes. Your sense of self, your self confidence, your relationship with your partner, (if you have one) your friendships, your body image, your fatigue, your lack of freedom…
Parents may ask themselves “Who am I?”
I am here to help you get grounded, to help you feel good about yourself and to help you feel confident that you are doing the best for your baby and/or young children.
Counselling for Parents of Toddlers and Young Children
Parenting Today is Harder then ever
Having worked with parents for over 50 years, I can confidently say that parenting today is more difficult than it has ever been. These days most parents are overwhelmed by all the books, websites, social media sites, online “experts”, mommy bloggers, and the comments and advice of friends, family, and even strangers, telling you how to raise your children.
It’s so confusing. It’s hard to know where to turn and whom to believe.
Before you know it, you don’t know what you think or believe, or who you are! You may start to lose all your confidence.
But remember; You are doing the most important work in the world.
Counselling for Adults (and Grandparents)
We all need support now and then.
We live in very challenging times. Our world is changing at a pace never experienced before in human history. Many people are living with anxiety, depression, low self esteem, relationship challenges, financial challenges, identity challenges, memory challenges, health challenges. We interact more with our “devices” than with each other. People feel more alone and isolated then they feel connected.
Some of you are now grandparents – a whole new identity. For some people this is a great source of joy, for others the relationship with your grown children and their partners is difficult and challenging.
It is easy to be overwhelmed. Counselling can offer a safe place to examine your challenges and find ways to feel better about yourselves, feel more grounded and learn techniques to maneuver successfully through all these challenges.
As an elder who has had many “lived experiences”, and has supported people of all ages, I look forward to assisting you in your life journey.
“As a working professional and a new mom, I wanted advice from someone who was both current and had a wide breadth of knowledge. Judy helped me with everything from breastfeeding to co-sleeping to working through my emotional experience as a parent. Her support was instrumental. As new moms, we should all have some time with Judy.”
Catherine Williams, MSW-C, Infant Mental Health Clinician
As a counsellor, I’m here to acknowledge the important work you are doing AND to provide you with the knowledge, skills, self-awareness and understanding to be the person and the parent you want to be.
ABOUT ME
In the old days, new parents looked to their elders for guidance and support because lived experience can often have a lot to offer (yes I know, some of you would Never ask your parents for advice!)
I want you to know that I am definitely an Elder. I have a long history of working with parents and young children. Over many years I have acquired much wisdom, knowledge and compassion. I want to share this with you to make your life and your parenting journey easier.
MY BACKGROUND and MY CREDENTIALS
I have a Masters Degree in Early Childhood Education. I taught young children in preschools and in childcare centres in the Berkeley School District. I was the Director of the Demonstration Early Childhood Centre at Vancouver Community College. I was the Head of the Department of Early Childhood Education at the College of New Caledonia in Prince George BC.
Once my children were born I trained to be a La Leche League Leader (breastfeeding support person), leading monthly meetings and always available for phone help. After moving to Nelson,BC, I continued to run La Leche League meetings and was hired to work in the government financed Life After Birth support program for new moms, for three years. Once the new designation “Lactation Consultant” was developed I took the exams and held the credential for 15 years. I was a La Leche Leader for 30 years.
My former husband and I decided to open a much needed children’s store in Nelson, which was dearly loved by the community. Aside from having well researched quality and durable products, the store had many play centres for children, a large nursing room, and even a tiny toilet and change table in the bathroom. I was frequently asked by customers for parenting advice, and breastfeeding support, which I loved to provide.
After 25 years I sold the store.
After retiring from my last job I returned to school and obtained a Diploma in Counselling and am now a registered counsellor. I now have skills to work with adults of all ages dealing with challenges in their lives.
Parenting Today
It is well documented that the first five years of life are the most critical. They are also the most difficult. With the advent of the internet and social media, parenting advice has exploded. Some of the advice is solid and well researched, some advice is just someone’s opinion, some advice comes from “influencers” who set unrealistic expectations and often promote ideas that are developmentally unsound and that feed into parents’ insecurities. I have seen many parenting approaches come and go.
What is missing from much online advice, is the acknowledgment that all babies and children are different. There is definitely not “one size fits all” and when online influencers peddle “The Approach”, parents often get disheartened because “The Approach” does not work for their children.
When you and I work together we will utilize a range of approaches to support you in feeling good about yourself, your parenting and your relationships.
I look forward to supporting you on your journey.
Let’s Eat Out – Tips for Eating Out With Young Children
I was talking to a friend of mine who is a waitress here in town, and she asked me to give parents some tips about taking children out to restaurants. It seems this... READ MORE
Parent Shock – when your 3 or 4 year old says awful things to you
“I hate you!” Really? Did you hear that right? No – can’t be. But, actually… you did hear that right. That little person, your child, just yelled at you and said “I hate... READ MORE
“It’s your fault” and other terrible things people tell you as a parent
This week, I recorded a podcast where I talk about the interactions I’ve had with parents who took the time to personally respond to my recent blogs on Stress in Young Children. I... READ MORE
4-year-old Parenting Magic – “Techniques” that really work
This morning, before I sat down to write my weekly blog, I opened my email to find this message: Subject: It worked! Sally at 4.5 years is very emotional and tempestuous. She was... READ MORE