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Confident Mother With Baby

7 things to remember when you read parenting advice online

“I read it on the Internet…”

I hear those words spoken in the store regularly.

I talk to caring and conscientious moms who feel insecure and inadequate by something they read on the internet.

They’ve spent tons of time on the internet reading advice from mommy bloggers and self appointed “experts”.

And as a result, they have lost their confidence in their parenting.

This really worries me so I thought I’d write about it.

Here are 7 things to remember if you get confused or discouraged by what you read online,

1. Just because someone has had children and likes to write, and has figured out a few things for her own kids, doesn’t mean they know what is best for your children,

2. Having lots of letters after his or her name as in BA, MA, PHD, MD, MSC, BN, etc, doesn’t mean that someone knows what’s best for your children.

3. Seeing some piece of information on the  internet over and over again, doesn’t mean that it’s true. Online writers and bloggers copy information all the time. Repetition doesn’t equal fact.

4. There is no “right “way to raise children.

5. All “experts” have opinions and points of view that they want to support. They are rarely objective. That’s why you read so many contradictory views on any topic related to childrearing (or anything else for that matter) on the internet. I have lots of letters after my name and lots of experience with children and parents. I was even head of a college department of Early Childhood Education. I’m considered an expert.  But you know what? I have strong opinions about childrearing and what children need. Just like every other expert.

6. Contrary to what you may read online, babies don’t sleep through the night.. At least most don’t. They are actually biologically designed to wake frequently and feed throughout the night.  “Experts” make lots of money selling books and sleep training programs online by telling you that your wakeful baby has sleep problems.  If anyone really knew what to do to get babies to sleep through the night, there’d be only one book, and one website. I think you’d agree that’s not the case.

7. No one will ever know or care about your children as much as you do. Remember that, when you read something that makes you feel bad. You really know who your children are, and what your children need more than anyone else. The best piece of advice I ever got, and what I tell parents all the time, is “Listen to your baby (child), listen to your heart.”

Is there good information on the internet?

Absolutely.

But if what you read undermines your confidence, it is not good information.

If information just doesn’t feel right, then it isn’t right for you, even if its right for your friend or mother-in-law or…

Sometimes it’s a good idea to turn off the computer, and just go outside.

Take your baby for a walk or play with your kids. You’ll feel much better.

That I really know is absolutely true!!!

Judy Banfield

I’m Judy Banfield and I’m here to help you feel better about yourself as a person and more confident and secure as a parent.

In my 30+ years of working with babies, young children and parents, I have learned that valuing and treasuring and deeply knowing yourself gives you the foundation to more confidently and joyfully, love, treasure, teach and guide your children.

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